if wishes were horses...

Why, oh why are there so many different versions of lyrics to "Tumbalaika" and none of them are the version my Yiddish great-grandmother taught me. NONE of them! I was trying to translate the English lyrics into Yiddish then back again to see if they would yield amusing results when I found this out. I like my lyrics much better than anything on the 'net:

Maiden, maiden, can you explain
What can grow without any rain?
What can live and never die?
What can weep and never cry?

Laddy, laddy, foolish and vain
Love can grow without any rain
Love can live and never die
A heart can weep and never cry

I remember the first time I could actually understand what was being sung to me (I think I was 4 at the time) I thought the answer to the third question should be a weeping willow, and I didn't know what Mom meant about it "not fitting".

Anyhow... I'm going to Kunming tomorrow, then to Beijing on Wednesday. The weather in Beijing on Wednesday says low 18 degrees Celsius and high--wait, drum roll please-- 34 degrees. Yes, 34 degrees Celsius. That's um... 93.2 degrees Fahrenheit. On the last day of APRIL for crying out loud! What the heck is wrong with the world? It's cheated me! Spring has vanished before my very eyes.

Ah well, Beijing should be fun, I'll get to see people! Maybe for the last time in a while if I end up leaving China. Much as I want a change, that thought is unbearably sad. I've grown up here! Which is one of the main reasons I want to leave, but it also makes leaving everybody and everything incredibly difficult. Why can't life be easy?

panic!

Well, since it's Earth Day, a classmate and I got into a very little disturbing little conversation about being vegetarian that went pretty much like this:

Classmate: All animals kill other animals and eat them... even chimpanzees.

Layli: Then if we kill animals, won't that make us just as bad as them?

Classmate: Well, we ARE animals.

I just found that last statement very VERY disturbing in the sense that there are people who think they're animals, and they think it's permissible to act like animals... And that scares me. It just plain scares me to have people walking around this planet who I think are perfectly sane and all of a sudden have them say very casually that we're actually all animals! Aaaaaaaah! Panic!!

Anyway. In the afternoon we had a walkathon, and I got two little hobbits from the nursery class and we did two laps before they went back to class. And they were SO cute. I wanted to steal one... But I resisted temptation admirably, so by now they should be safely at home...

complicated

Good afternoon!

I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday. Mom and I went out last night and then I went to bed early-- and of course I got up at 5:30 AM this morning as a result...

Anyhow. I spent all of yesterday morning and half of this morning talking to two of the most awesome people in the universe on Skype. Yes, yesterday I spent no less than 4 hours talking Brynne and Carew. It was so nice to hear their voices, seeing as I hadn't for 10 months. It made me very hyper, a bit depressed and very quiet afterwards. Consequently, I spent most of the afternoon holed up in my room listening to sad music and writing in my journal...

I was thinking about it last night, and concluded that I play word association every waking minute (literally). Because when I think of a word, it has a bunch of other words connected to it. These words usually are:

1. synonyms or antonyms of the original word
2. adjectives that can be used to describe the original word
3. words in the same category or that are in a subcategory of the original word
4. words associated to a memory that is also associated to the original word
5. words that rhyme with the original word
   

I never, ever think in pictures, which is a bit of a shame, but since I haven't met anyone who thinks the same way I do, maybe I'm unique! Or not. But I've noticed that a lot of people don't actually know how they think, and I find that very strange.

Oh, and ideas and emotions have colours. The complicated ones are pretty...

OK, I had better go and do math before class.

Edit: I just wanted to add that I think in words no matter what language I am speaking/thinking in at the moment.

tired...

Hmm... I noticed tonight at dinner that even though the waitresses were wearing traditional Chinese outfits, they were wearing sneakers to go with. That seems to me to be infinitely sensible and far too rare a sight. I wonder why...

Went to the dentist. Again. I do think that it's becoming a habit. Saturday should NOT be dentist day. Saturday's should be for hanging out and doing stuff. Random, fun stuff. Anyhow.

Ok, pretty lame post, I admit, but hey, I'm tired. I shouldn't be up anyhow, so I'm going to bed like the good li'l girl that I'm not.

just a bit sad

Today we had BLUE SKIES! Those of you who don't live in Ningbo won't understand why I'm all excited, but...

China, it seems, has blocked Blogspot again. So I can post, but I can't view any blogs. There are ways around that though, of which I am making good use. It occurred to me just today (I have no idea why it didn't occur to me earlier) that I haven't actually read Brynne, Carew or Keira's in China blogs. So I'm rectifying that, and they bring back SO many memories. Sometimes they'll just say friend, and it's a peculiar feeling to know that they're talking about me and the things we did together.

Ooooh, I now have an AMAZING display of fireworks right outside my window. They're stunning, but also marginally annoying, seeing as I'm trying to read, write and blog all at the same time.

Today, the high school watched "The 11th Hour" in preparation for Earth Day. It was quite good, very interesting and far better than I had expected it to be.

Hmm, I just noticed how many of Carew's posts begin with "Sorry I didn't post yesterday, but..." 

Their blogs make me homesick, or Dalian-sick, or whatever it should be called, now that I've admitted that despite my having grown up there, Dalian really isn't home anymore. I wonder where will be home next... And whether I'll be happy there, and how long I'll stay...

jinxed

Today and tomorrow, a bunch of the high school kids are in Beijing at a soccer tournament, so it was and (I hope) will continue to be nice and quiet at school. Also, my history and PE teacher is gone. So we're going to watch a movie tomorrow third period instead of running laps. FUN!

I spent my lunch period making posters for Fine Arts Night. Why can I not do artsy--fartsy stuff to save my life? Or maybe I can, I just never learned how. I haven't had a single art lesson since 3rd grade, and I'm not the kind of person who will go off and draw on her own.

I am, however, the kind of person who will go off and write on her own. I've got this brilliant idea, but I'm not going to talk about it too much for fear of jinxing it. I'm not usually superstitious, but with something as delicate as writing you can never be too careful. Plus, I already walked under a ladder and saw a black cat today, so I really don't think I should push it. *knocks on wood, turns around three times and spits, puts on good luck charm* There. Now at least I FEEL safe. But you never know what might be lurking around the next corner...

Oh, wait. I don't think I even have a good luck charm. So much for that. I'm officially jinxed! And so is whatever I'm going to write (it'll be brilliant) when I find the time! Aagh!

Just kidding.

Spring!

Flowers! They make me so happy. Everywhere I look there are new types of flowery things growing. I was going to wait until we had a nice, clear day to take pictures, but I think I'll be eighty before we have a clear day... so!




There were some plants out there that I had never seen before coming to Ningbo, like this bush-like organism with fuchsia, droopy flowers.


They make me believe that spring is actually coming. Now if I can just steal a piece of blue sky to hang in my room during rainy days, I'll be very happy.

I was caught up homework-wise, but then my dictatorial (and decidedly not compassionate) history teacher just assigned us a project and a paper. Fun doesn't even begin to describe it. I'll survive, hopefully, but if I do it will only be by a hair. I despise history projects. They always are more trouble than they should be. The flowers cheered me up though. :)

Edit: I would just like to point out that the sky is white. Yes, WHITE! It's not blue, not grey, not clouds, just...blank. And it's generally fairly smoggy too. I find that very strange and slightly depressing.

only slightly periphrastic (I love that word)

Today was --Oh! It just started POURING rain outside.... As I was saying, today was fairly uneventful, with the only interesting happening being that lunch was horrid. The cafeteria got mixed up, thought that today was Earth Day and made peanut butter sandwiches. The peanut butter was the colour and consistency of dog turd. Since on Earth Day (next Tuesday) there are a bunch of reporters coming to school (I think my international school is the only school in Ningbo that celebrates Earth Day, also it's been a very slow month for news), it was very lucky that we found out how nasty that particular meal was before every newspaper in China commented on our food.

Hmm... I just noticed that I spell "colour" the UK way. I spell and punctuate mostly the UK way, now that I come to think of it. Interesting. Very interesting.

I wrote two pages in my journal during math class today; I was bored out of my mind. I used to love math AND math class. Now I hate math class. What happened?

Anyway... I get the feeling Ningbo and this year are only stepping stones for bigger and better
(actually, not necessarily) things, so I'll try not to worry about it too much.

profound ramblings of my mind

Good evening, people! We had to write a poem for English class (finally, something FUN!) and I experimented with a new format: all the odd lines make one poem, all the even another, and then you read it normally. It worked out quite well, I was pleasently surprised. I don't have it here, or else I'd post it... maybe later.

I've been reading the "Adventures of Arthur Pendragon" and "The Keys to the Kingdom" form our library's fiction section, and I was surprised at a) how similar they are b) how well they've sold despite the fact that they're very similar and c) how well they've sold despite the fact that they're fantasy. Fantasy doesn't sell all that well, but I guess both these two series have enough advenutre in them to make them popular. That means they have just a bit too much draw-your-sword-and-fight-you-filthy-monster in them for me. Oh well, they were still amusing and slightly thought-provoking.

I don't know what it is about me-- I have interesting thoughts during the day, but I can't remember any of them when I'm blogging. Sometimes I'll remember everything, and other times I have a mind like a sieve.

Good night!

food!!!

Today for lunch Mom, some other teachers and I went to The Indian Kitchen and had an absolutely marvelous meal. Mom also made carrot cupcakes(with vanilla frosting), so food-wise I'm very happy. However, since I went to go see the University of Nottingham's campus here this morning at 8, I'm full and fairly sleepy. The main thing that I didn't like about the place (unsurprisingly enough) was the fact that all the buildings were brand new and very ugly. I want old, INTERESTING buildings! And a nice campus...

Anyhow. I'm still having to come to school to use the internet, since mine isn't fixed yet... And Mom wants me home by nine, so I had better get going. Hopefully tomorrow will be more fruitful and I'll have more time in the evening to blog. Till then...

yet another Saturday night...and I didn't even get to sleep late!

Today was, once again, a very busy Saturday. I woke up at six and couldn't go back to sleep (poor me). Then I went to a friends house and listened to a tape Amatu'l-Bahá Rúhíyyih Khanum gave on "The Dawn Breakers" in Haifa. Her voice and mannerism remind me of my grandma, Na...

Then Mom and I went to the dental clinic, and I sat there for about 2 hours finshing The Belgariad. It was good. I thought the ending would be super predictable, but it wasn't at all, so that was a pleasent surprise. However, the cushions in their waiting room are somewhat less than comfortable. I don't think they were meant to be sat on for a very long time.

When I got home I curled up and watched four episodes of The West Wing straight. I was going to watch two, but they left me hanging at the end of the second one I watched, so I decided to go on. That's the only TV show I find even mildly addictive. I wonder why...

no title (Layli's thoughts are very disjointed, so she can't think of a suitable title)

Today was an extraordinarily uneventful day, so I won't bore you with an account of every class I attended and every conversation I had. I don't remember having any interesting thoughts, which is probably because I went through today like a zombie. It's the easiest way I've found to make time pass quickly.

I'm so restless, I keep on feeling like something should be or is going to happen, but--nothing yet. I started this year so full of anticipation, but now I really don't know what I was so excited about. Maybe it was just hope--hope that international school would be better than Chinese school, but it's not. It's just bad in different ways. Hopefully next year I'll really enjoy school. And I might even learn something too!

My friend Nura would like me to add here how wonderful she is. I'm just passing along the message. Naturally, all my friends are fantabulous (yes, that IS a word, according to Layli's dictionary) and I love them very much. It's just that Nura is the only one who has asked me to publicly proclaim her wonderfulness so far. I am, however, accepting requests.

Hopefully tomorrow I will have something more interesting to say, since Mom and I are going to the dentist and I plan to check out all the torture devices they have in the dental clinic.

field trip

I just wanted to pop in and say something even though I don't have much time before I have to go.

Today, we went to see the birthplace of Chiang Kai Shek. It was utterly fascinating. In the village, there were some shops, and I bought myself a purse and a backpack. And that is the most eventful thing that happened today, besides the computer breaking. I'm using my mom's at work (which is why I have to go home rather than go to bed). I still have dishes and all sorts of other pleasent chores awaiting me.

in which Layli babbles about the wind

I can hear the wind howling outside... I think the apartment building I live in and the one beside it are too close together and create a wind tunnel. I actually like the sound. It's a bit dark and freaky, but is fun to listen to while imagining things.

Tomorrow is high school field trip day. I'm so excited... not. At least it gives everyone some reprieve from school though. Right now, tempers are running short because people are worn out. One day's break isn't going to solve that, but it may ease tensions for a little while.

The drama club (which consists of 9 people) is going to put on Arsenic and Old Lace. We just decided this today, so we have 8 weeks to get everything done in time for the show (7 weeks if you exclude vacation). Hopefully everything will get done well with a minimum amount of glitches.

The wind is still howling--it sounds like someone lashing a whip. Hopefully it won't rain on us tomorrow. That would certainly put a damper on things (bad pun intended).

Sweet dreams...

Before I go to bed, I just want to add that the title of this post is a parody of the chapter titles in Patricia C. Wrede's series "The Enchanted Forest Chronicles". If you like fantasy and haven't read those books, read them--they're very good.

gunshots at home and rain elsewhere

I woke up to the sound of lightning this morning, and shot out of bed yelling "Thunderstorm! Thunderstorm!" I absolutely love rain. By the time I got to school, I was drenched, shivering and not nearly as excited about the rain as I was before. But my enthusiasm returned when I noticed that it was pitch black outside around 9:00 AM. Just around that time the lights started flickering, but the electricity didn't go out just then.

When I got home, however, I was laying in bed reading when I heard a gunshot and the fuse blew. At that moment I discovered that a whole light bulb can explode for absolutely no reason and leave shards of glass everywhere and sound like a gunshot. Not to mention the blown fuse. I didn't dare go out of my room because I could see slivers of glass right outside my bedroom door, and of course I was barefooted. So I had to call Mom, who was at the bank, and asked her to come home and get me a pair of slippers so that I could start cleaning up the mess in the living room. It really made me wonder how careful people who make light bulbs are.

So let that be a lesson to you all, and be careful when you make light bulbs, lest they explode in someone's face.

osmanthus fragrans and writing

Today the 桂花 guì huā (sorry to those of you whose browsers don't support Chinese) are blooming. I think they're called osmanthus fragrans in English. The flowers, which are small, pale yellow, smell like a cross between peaches, apricots and lemons, and definitely diffuse sweet scented fragrance. The ornamental peach and cherry trees are also blooming, but they don't smell nearly as nice.

I had a good idea for a story right before I dozed off last night, but the salient details escape me now.... At least ideas are something that there's always more of, even though the saying "There's nothing new under the sun" might spark some debate on that issue. But I think it's safe to say that there will always be new ideas for ME. Whether they're new for someone else doesn't even matter in writing because every person has their own perspective of their own warped reality. That thought makes me so happy sometimes because it reminds me that even if what I'm writing is the oldest plot in history, as long as I tell it exactly the way I see it, my story will end up being original. And I find that thought very comforting.

lounging (Layli really should find something better to do)

I spent today just lounging around reading, writing, watching The West Wing, eating bran muffins et cetera.

I'm currently reading a fantasy series, The Belgariad, by David Eddings, which is very good, if not as inventive as some other authors in the genre. The characters are very endearing, and more than make up for the slight lack of originality in the plot.

On a marginally related note, I've been wondering if anyone has seen a list of all the alethiometer symbols from His Dark Materials and their meanings. By meanings, I don't just mean the first level of meanings, but EVERY SINGLE ONE mentioned in ALL the books. I'm a little too lazy to go back and find them all myself. However, I'll probably end up doing it on a very boring day or two.

I've got school tomorrow, so I'm going to go to bed.

Good night!

busy day

Today I went with Mom to the dentist. It was a gorgeous day, warm and clear with a balmy breeze. On the way it looked like bright yellow wildflowers were attempting to take over the world. Mom was convinced that they were a tea crop.

The dentist's waiting room was extremely pink and had that awful hospital smell, and I was there for two hours while they were drilling holes in Mom's teeth.

Then we went to another foreign teacher's house and I "stole" some of her beads to make a necklace with. Then I had a granola bar, two sugar cookies, a bran muffin and a slice of cheese for dinner. VERY healthy, I know.

It doesn't sound like a busy day, but it was, and consequently I was probably far too irritable for most of it...hopefully tomorrow will be better.

thank goodness it's Friday...

Today was just another day at school. I spent most of history class fuming, because my history teacher is the kind of teacher who will give you a B+ just for the sake of not giving you an A. Said teacher is also making my mom's life difficult, because he's in charge of after school activities, and he dumped a bunch of kids on my mom, so now she's supposed to do a cooking class with 45 kids. You DON'T give a petty dictator extra power!

School is better than it was, though, but I think that's only because I know I won't be here next year. I'm crossing my fingers that school next year will at least not be boring and stressful.

Speaking of stress, thank heavens it's Friday. I think the everyone at school is tired and burnt out. Weekends are good, but we all need a proper break, and we don't get one until the end of this month.

I got my teeth cleaned recently and it turns out that I had cement on them because of my braces...so I was in there for about an hour having me teeth scraped on. It was very tiring and gave me headache. Strange, how when my jaw is tired I get a headache. Life is just chock full of wonders!

Alpha

Well, I have finally decided to start (and, with a little self-discipline) maintain a blog. The main reason for this epochal decision is this: I want to have a record of what I thought and felt when I was 14. This blog will be interesting for me to read ten years from now, and if I don't start a blog sometime soon, 24-year-old me is going to wonder why in the world didn't I. So I figured I might as well...

Of course, having a blog is the height of egotism, but...who cares? An egotistical person probably wouldn't have to talk herself into starting a blog, but I wouldn't know, since I'm the least egotistical person I know. I had better warn you that some mornings I forget to take my anti-sarcasm and -irony pills.

Mom is asleep, she really is overworked at this school. Hopefully the next job, whatever it ends up being, will be easier on both of us.

I should sign off now and take a shower since I have school tomorrow. I meant to write a bit before bed, but this will have to count as my writing for today. Unless I can't sleep, in which case I will end up writing a LOT more.

I'm going to aim for the stars and tell myself to update this blog every day, even though we will all be lucky if I post twice a week. If I don't post as often as you think I should, you all have my sincere apologies.

-Layli