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I've been neglecting my blog. I'm sorry. It's not that I'm particularly busy, either. I'm just exhausted. School is really tiring because it's useless, I still have to find tickets to get me (and Mom) to the States, I need to pack, I have exams, but I'm not studying for them much at all, and... I could go on and on.

Good: I talked to Brynne and Carew today. They make me so happy :) I should be seeing them in less than a month. YAY! Now if I can only get the tickets and my visa sorted out...
Hmm... I finished Like Water for Chocolate. I didn't like it, but it was a good book. I really can't think of anything to say about it besides that.

I can't believe that there's only four more weeks of school left. Two and a half weeks until exams. I would panic, but I'm feeling kind of numb right now.

I'm running out of things to say.

jassie

YAY! The jasmine in the living room is flowering. 55 buds on it so far. If I had to choose a favourite flower, it would probably be jasmine, with violets and osmanthus fragrans as close, close seconds.

I'm also fond of royal paulownias though...

'Night folks...

so...Shakespeare rocks!!!

Inspired by Brynne's latest blog post, I have been watching Brotherhood 2.0. Youtube, however, is not cooperating. Ah, the woes of living in China, a capitalist country with communist tendencies, as I like to call it. Bleh.

My air con, which is about one meter to the right and one and a half meters up from where I'm sitting right now is sporadically raining me, the computer, my desk and all the junk on it with water. It's rather cooling, really, now that I've gotten over my irrational hate of machines...

I'm currently rereading "The Bar Code Tattoo" and "The Bar Code Rebellion". They are both very good and thought provoking, especially if you enjoy thrillers and/or sci-fi. I have also checked out a book called "Like Water for Chocolate" just to read something I wouldn't usually read. I'll write a (probably short) review about it when I'm done. I have also been rereading "Macbeth", "Selected Short Stories By O. Henry", "Selected Short Stories By Mark Twain" and "Selected Short Stories By Edgar Allan Poe". I bet that your eyes will start glazing over at the mention of Shakespeare if you're not a nerd. Hehe.

In Shakespeare's other plays (or at least the fifteen folios I've read) the word "murder" is spelled the way it is now. However, in "Macbeth" it is spelled "murther", both imitating a Scottish accent and making it easy to confuse with the verb "mother". When I finish reading "Macbeth" this time around, I plan to re-reread it, substituting "murther" for "mother".

Another cool thing about Shakespeare was pointed out to me at a drama workshop I attended earlier this year. In "Midsummer Night's Dream", when mortals speak, the rhythm is opposite your heartbeat, but when Titania and Oberon speak, the rhythm matches your heartbeat. Throughout the play, Puck is trying to imitate the fairies' way of speaking, but he only succeeds in his very last speech (the last speech of the whole play, actually). It is also only in this speech that he is called Robin.

Shakespeare rocks!

wordy word words

23 days of school left. 31 days until vacation. It doesn't sound like a very long time, but when you're stuck in school, waiting for finals to be over (they start the nineteenth) and have no idea what you're going to do next year, one month is a very, very long time. It has to be. Mom needs to get a job in that amount of time, we need to pack and move, there are grades to give out, papers to write, plans to make... and it all has to be done sometime within the next month. So in a way it's not as long of a time as it needs to be. Oxymoron, I know, but it's true.

Hah. My class has been studying romanticism and realism in literature... and realism is a dictionary, where romanticism is the feeling you get as you roll a word off your tongue, or the colours you see when you think of a word, or the implications of the word, which can vary from person to person, or the special memories you attach to the word... Words are so awesome, and SO undervalued...

more lounging : )

I spent most of today lounging around as well. I'm going to Suzhou this weekend, so I wanted a bit of down time. I did get some writing done, and some other stuff that I'd been putting off until The Later That Never Comes, but I also spent some time just being bored. While I'm doing it, I make a point of telling myself how boring doing nothing is, and sometimes I even believe myself, but I still love to just sit and do nothing except think. Some interesting thoughts or memories came up today that made me smile, giggle, or want to sing at the top of my lungs.

I also spent a considerable amount of time just surfing the 'net. I've been (slowly) reading Do Life Right, a very interesting blog, even though at some times too healthy for me. 

Yes, I am vegetarian. I'm fairly flexible though. If I'm starving, and meat is the only thing available, I will eat it. If the food is going to waste, I'll eat it, meat or not. If I have a yen for steak (I do a few times a year) then I'll go for it--medium rare and everything. However, I do not usually like the taste/texture of meat, I do think being a vegetarian is healthier, and I KNOW it's better for the environment.

rest...blessed rest

No school today, yay! I've been feeling brain dead and stressed, I've been making silly mistakes and my brain isn't connected to my mouth or hands anymore, so I gave myself a break today. I watched some West Wing (four episodes, actually), tie-dyed a T-shirt (using Sharpies and rubbing alcohol), went through my junk box and threw away a bunch of stuff that's not easily movable and read a bad book form the kid's fiction section of the library. It was all very relaxing. I WAS going to write today, but...what the heck. I can play a little first. I hope :D

We've finally gotten around to making some unsweetened yoghurt, so Mom's making a Persian dish with onions, turmeric, spinach and yoghurt in it. YUM!!!! But she's also frying some beef fillet, which I will no doubt have to eat some of. ("Eat your protein, Layli!" "But I hate meat, it's unhealthy, and bad for the environment!!" "Just eat it already!")

Hah, I was right about Mom and the meat. Eurgh.

I'm looking at airpasses for N. America... Let's hope I find a cheap one!

doggone skeeters

Does anybody know what "cycoris" means? I woke up with that word stuck in my head. I don't remember dreaming about anything like that, but it sounds like the sort of thing my mind would come up with.

There's no school tomorrow, since the torch is coming through Ningbo and they're closing all the roads.

It's so humid here that the tuning pegs on my violin won't fit into the pegbox. So now my all strings have dropped an octave and a half, and the strings are really loose. I would turn on the AC, but I'd freeze to death. So I guess I'll just have to wait until it gets a bit drier. Also, my canvas bag from the Stratford Shakespeare Summer Seminars, which sat in a drawer for three days, now has mold growing all over it.Ugh...

Dangit I just saw a 'skeeter.

I'm back. Layli one, mosquito zero. And it didn't bite anyone either. The first night Mom and I were in Ningbo, we killed something like 63 mosquitoes in one night. Hopefully I'll never have to do that again.

Thankfully, it's not hot here yet. The high has, so far, been 27 degrees Celsius, about 80 Fahrenheit. With a little luck, it won't hit 45 Celsius this summer like it did last summer. But I won't be here anyhow, so...

quality in a square

I spent most of this afternoon and evening making backup copies of practically everything on the computer and making an image of the system... I wish I could hire someone else to do it.

I'm thinking about old friends. I made a list, and I've gone through, and there are 24 names on the list. I never really knew that I had so many friends. I'm only in touch with about ten of them, which is kind of sad.

I'm sitting here eating Ritter sport (it was on sale). I can see why it costs more than dove or Hershey's. Quality in a square...

In response to Brynne's comment yesterday, I was shopping for a new journal. I'm still horribly old fashioned and use a pencil and paper to record my thoughts and feelings. I had a stash of notebooks, but most of them got flooded in the typhoon. I plan on spending Friday morning decorating my new journal's cover.

um...

Today I did something that was completely out of character for me: I voluntarily went out to shop. This is a major event, marking the beginning of a new age: the age of giggly girl-dom. Next thing you know, I'll be sitting with the the people who blow dry their hair every single morning without fail. Then, I'll start shrieking like them, and after a certain period of time, I'll be going to the mall every weekend, and that will be the end of the sane Layli.

I'm eating dried, sweetened coconut slices and listening to Ingram Hill. Can life really get much better? Well, yes it can. When I turn 18, Jessa promised that she'll take me to a concert. I can't wait.

I have no idea what to prattle on about next, so good night.

misc.

Well! I finally found a way to overcome writer's block: listen to music in another language. So today, instead of listening to English music, I played some Spanish and some Chinese music as soon as I felt the typewriter in my brain beginning to jam. It worked really well.

I talked to Brynne and Carew for quite a while again this morning...and I can't wait until I see them!!!! We looked at names we liked, and I have a list I wrote in 6th grade which includes
Julliette Anna
Nura Juanie
Tahirih Jasmine
Amelia May
Parveneh Ellanur

Louis William
Theodore Dalton
Nabil Daniel
Ruh'u'llah Robin
Mikael Carey

I must have had a ton of time on my hands... Funny thing is, I still like all of those names. Hehe.

happy

Today was nice and relaxing. I talked to Brynne and Carew for about three hours this morning, and I went swimming with Mom this afternoon. The water at the pool was really nice, warm on the top and cold on the bottom. I haven't been swimming since October, because I always found something else I was supposed to be doing... Now that I've gone once, it feels like summer though :)

It looks like I'll be going to visit Brynne and Carew this summer (YAY!) but I won't know anything for sure until Mom gets a job and we get my visa straightened out. Ojalá that it won't be too much trouble, and hopefully I can go to Camp too. That might almost be wishing for too much though.

Hah. I just realized that I look extremely like a hippie right now: after swimming I changed into a tie die T-shirt and a turquoise skirt with purple and green tie died around the bottom. Peace, dudes!

and the power is mine

Nothing worth noting happened today, so I'm going to go continue writing my pack of lies, because after all, that's what fiction is--lies. Hah, and I don't even get in trouble for telling them. Lies, lies, lies! I do not live in Wisconsin, there is no such thing as The Wright & Thompson Library, Chava Estrella Garwood, with all of her quirks, is not real...but I can make you think that they all exist. Muahaha, the power is mine. And that is why I love writing.

Not really though. It allows me to confess all my sins and feelings without anyone knowing it. Writing lets me make everything the way I think it should be, and then I get to change it all! And, of course, writing keeps me from bursting.

Roots

Yay! I got unstuck on my story. Or at least I am now less stuck than I was. I didn't write anything worth keeping for almost a month, but today I wrote a page (single spaced) that I actually thought was worth keeping, so hopefully my brain is back. Of course, I don't have a name for whatever it is that I end up writing. I never can name stuff ahead of time. I wait to the end, read the WHOLE thing together and usually something will come up and beg to be the title.

Here's a poem that happened like that. My greenish-brown root-girl came into my brain and had the audacity to demand that I name it "Roots".

Fall comes
Leaves shake, fall
Most people are like that, after all
Deciduousness is a common trait
So don’t expect leave-people to stay and be brave
They were only meant to be for a season
To help you grow, to teach you reason
To give the world a moment’s shade
And then fall away
So if you hold them when the wind blows
They will break your heart, so
Let them go…

I climb, stretch from limb to limb
Feeling the smooth bark beneath my feet
But with a crack, that branch I thought so strong
Leaves me high and dry, stranded above ground
So don’t you ever put your weight
On a branch that will always bend and then break
For they are the people you think you can trust
But end up crumbling into dust
Without a regret, let them go
Let them be broken by the storm
While you stay in bed, nice and warm

I dig, to the bottom of my soul
In the moist brown earth where the roots grow
I see them, embedded in me, part of my life forever
The love, comfort, hope they provide
Would be enough to sustain me
Even should the Earth subside
I can trust them with my life
Without a hesitation, without fear
These are the people who love you—
No matter what
They are true friends

I wrote it sometime in January.

books!!!

I should be writing something else, but here I am blogging, chatting, looking at photos on Facebook and listening to Guster. Life would be good if I wouldn't constantly remind myself that I have other things that are higher on my list of priorities than looking at photos. I wish sometimes my conscience would just SHUT UP for a day or two. But other times I bless the day I actually started listening to it (more than before).

I've been thinking about books...both in general and books that I especially like. I've been trying to define a "good book" for me. It has to inspire creativity in me, has to have characters I can relate to and/or understand, the characters have to be deep and stay in character, the writing should be interesting and the descriptions vivid, it should be believable (Not realistic, believable. There's a difference!) and... I noticed that I focus a lot on the characters. People fascinate me :) Oh, I forgot to add that the ending has to be at least as good if not better than the rest of the book. I hate endings where all problems are miraculously solved or where the author doesn't really understand what's going on anymore and consequently you don't either.

What got me started thinking about books was the fact that towards the end of English class we were talking about ebooks versus paper books.... I held firmly to my belief that even though the content would be identical, the whole feeling you got from turning the pages and smelling the mustiness of the book (I'm talking about 2nd hand books, since that's what most of mine are) would be gone, and then the whole experience would be lacking. And to take away from reading is sacrilegious and should be punishable by death. And I'm only kidding a little here.

*yawn*

Just wanted to pop in to say a few things:
  1. Some of my creative juice is coming back. Most of it is still going towards school junk though.
  2. The weather was gorgeous.
  3. I'm going to upload some photos of the trip sometime, but I have no idea when.
  4. My violin bow isn't as heavy on the tip as my old one was, so I keep screeching when I play. How long will it take me to get used to the new one? It's been two months!!!
Goodnight, before I embarrass myself by falling asleep at the computer.

teeny little rant

Hmm... Today was so incredibly boring. And draining. I think I've said this before, but school stinks. Not only do I not learn too much, I spend my brainpower trying to amuse myself during class. Today, I counted the number of bugs in my biology classroom. Then I started to mentally calculate two to the power of twenty two, but got distracted and started thinking about prime numbers.

It was raining during phys. ed. so we ended up doing circuits in the gym. It got really hot and sweaty after a while. I was surprised by the number of people who did ANYTHING to get out of having to do a few push ups.

I'm tired... I should go to bed... But I hate missing part of the day... But if I don't go to bed I miss part of the next day because I'm so tired. I just can't win :(

Good night.

meh...

It's so hard to go back to school after a break. I was exhausted (physically) after retreat, and then I had to jump right back into school. And these next few weeks there's a ton of stuff going on--I had a bio exam, have a history project due, have a history essay due, have a history test, a math test and an English presentation due. And it's fine arts night next Thursday, so everybody is running around like chickens with their heads cut off. If school weren't so very serious, I'd think it all was hilarious.

All of this schoolwork is draining my brainpower and is taking up precious time. After school, I come home and do an hour of extra math, read whatever I'm supposed to read, then work on my essay/presentation/project or review for the next test. After dinner I do more of the same until about nine. At that point, my eyes are so tired and I'm so sick of words that I don't even want to think about writing anything else, so I'll play my violin for a while or do some bead work. Ugh. Even here, it all sounds agonizingly unproductive.

Hmm... there's something weird with my internet--out of the dozen sites or so that I've tried, only Blogger will load. Now ain't that sum'in else? Sorry, that was me mocking my fellow Arkansans. Pay me no heed.

Hopefully whatever the problem is, it will sort itself out soon.

back!!!

Yes, I'm back. Technically, I got back early yesterday morning (1 a.m.) but I was too tired last night to post. Sorry about that.

I had an amazing time in Yunnan. In Lijiang, Debbie (the 4th grade teacher at my school), her husband, Tom, Mom and I stayed in a hotel that was actually a bunch of rooms looking onto a courtyard. It was spectacular, and very clean, and right up a small hill from the shopping district in the old town. We all decided to spend the first day shopping since we wanted to get acclimated to the altitude. Lijiang is 1830 meters (6000 feet) above sea level; Ningbo is right at sea level, so we were all worried about altitude sickness. And rightly so, too. That afternoon I felt HORRIBLE, went back to the hotel for a nap and ended up sleeping for 2 1/2 hours. Thankfully, the next morning I felt much better.

I bought plenty of stuff while we were there: 4 pairs of earrings, 3 skirts, 2 scrumptious raspberry yoghurt smoothies....

As far as I could tell, there wasn't really anything to see besides the old city, so I won't talk about that without photos. I'll post some as soon as I can get home and upload them though.

Going to Beijing was a bit of a pain. Because of some strange thing with my plane ticket, I flew from Dali (I only spent an afternoon there) to Kunming, spent over seven hours in the airport there writing in my journal, then flew from there to Beijing in the evening. I found out that there are only two flights from Dali to Kunming, one at 8:30 a.m. and one at 8:35 a.m.

Retreat was fantabulous. It was great seeing everyone. I would go on and on about retreat if I could, but...

And everybody there is made of awesome :P