forgive me

I realize that I've been negligent. I'm sorry. This'll probably be my last post before we (meaning my aunt, cousin, mom and I) leave for Rockport, Massachusetts. Yes, we're driving from Arkansas to Massachusetts. And staying for a week, then driving back. It should be awesome. I'll take tons of pictures and post them when I get back. 

I'm feeling kind of stressed and burnt out, which is weird, because summer is usually the least stressful time of year, but...whatever. It'll go away. 

about perfection, I guess...

I can't think of anything to say. So I'm going to start making random lists and see where they take me. This is probably the only post where you get to see the process, and not just the end result (or the part of the result my perfectionist self sees fit to post). Because I have to admit, being a perfectionist gets tiring after a while. There are times when you just Stop Caring about being perfect. And now is one of those times for me. So...

Things that scare me (in no particular order): 

• other people getting mad at me
• watching people I love get hurt (especially when they hurt themselves)
• disappointing the people I love
• not being content (I can never just enjoy the present. I'm always -almost always- looking forward to something. And I don't want to look back at my life later and realize that I missed some of the best parts.)
• being a failure (I don't mind making mistakes half as much as being a failure. But everyone hates making mistakes)
• getting angry enough to pretend I don't care what happens
• people lying to me

Okay, that's getting depressing. And personal. Personal is nasty. But it also makes me think about stuff I really don't want t think about. But that's enough nasty for now. 

Things that make me happy:

• hugs
• animals
• dreams
• feeling comfortable enough to be myself
• taking chances (part of that might be my natural rebellion)
• waking up
• laying in bed with the lights off, daydreaming (Um...would it be called nightdreaming?)
• reading, writing and 'rithmetic (I mean it)

And I'm thinking of a ton of things for that list, mostly books that make me happy. 

Books I like (Not quite the same thing, but...what the heck. And these are only a few of the good books I've read recently): 

• Incantation, by Alice Hoffman
• The Moonstone, by William Wilkie Collins
• The Giver, Gathering Blue and Messenger, by Lois Lowry
• Catherine, Called Birdy, by Karen Cushman
• A Long Way From Chicago and A Year Down Yonder, Richard Peck
• The Outsiders and That Was Then, This is Now, by S. E. Hinton
• A Mind to Murder, by P. D. James
• Hope was Here, by Joan Bauer
• Cage of Stars, by Jacquelyn Mitchard
• Whirligig, by Paul Fleishman

By no means a complete list. I haven't even attempted to include some all-time favourites. And actually, those aren't the most cheerful of books. But I love the characters in all of them, and for me, the characters are (on average) half of the book, while plot is 45% and voice is about 5%. Those numbers can shift though. 

This is an okay length now, and it's 9:44 PM. I'm going to bed. And maybe I won't delete this post tomorrow morning when I wake up sane. Just maybe. 

happy Learn Nothing Day

Today is LEARN NOTHING DAY. Dangit, I've already failed. I learned that the root of the elephant ear plant is taro. 

Have fun learning nothing, or at least trying. 

Landscapes 2.0

I have two fetishes: earrings and cyber eye-candy. I bought a pair of (pottery) earrings when I was in Mountain View, so that part of me is satisfied. This morning, I was searching for something else online (I truly can't remember what) and found Landscapes 2.0. 

Landscape photos really make me drool. If I see one, I immediately have the urge to 

• go see the place for myself
• daydream about the place
• imagine myself in the photo
• write about the place or
• write something set in the place the photo was taken (I hardly ever use writing prompts, but if I get stuck, I'll often browse through eye-candy I've collected. I also collect photos of interesting people to use as characters. )

I just wish that the site told you where every photo was taken. Other than that, I think Landscapes 2.0 is awesome! 

clothes and Savannah College of Art and Design

I got back from Mountain View on the day before yesterday. The visit wasn't really bloggable. I tried writing a post about it (three times) and failed miserably. So let me just say that it was really nice to see my mom's side of the family, and that I wish all my cousins who weren't there could have been there. 

My Uncle Joshua is getting married on August 16th. I had a (small) heart attack at the thought of finding wedding clothes. Today, I found a brown skirt with flowers on it that I can wear with a red shirt and black ballet flats I already have (the skirt has little streaks of black, so I think the shoes will be alright). And some of the flowers on the skirt are outlined with little beads and/or sequins. Gasp! I'm wearing sequins? My excuse is that there aren't very many sequins on the thing, and it's a wedding. Anybody should be allowed to wear sequins to a wedding. And that is that. 

And today I got a thick, hefty package from Savannah College of Art and Design. It includes a letter (Greetings! Thank you for your interest in Savannah College of Art and Design. We take great pride in preparing students like you for blah blah blah), a magnet with tour dates and their website on it, a "Application for Admission" which has everything I would ever need, were I actually considering applying, and a magazine/brochure thingie that has 320 pages. Needless to say, I'm not planning on reading it. Some of the photos are pretty though. Maybe I can cut it up and make a collage? At least that'll be doing something useful with it. 

B&C

I'm going to go see Brynne and Carew! For almost a month! Is it possible to be this hyper without turning into a pogo stick? I think not. Mom and I have a three-hour drive to Mountain View ahead of us this morning. I'm going to drive her crazy. It should be fun.

mainly pots

The show room--pots on the bottom, antiques on the top, and in a beautiful building. What more is there to have (besides blackberry cobbler)? Oh, and the sign says 'Stamp's General Store'.

Behind the scenes. A little bit of clutter never hurt anyone.

All those wintergreen Altoids tins are empty.

More antiques. There are also a bunch of old ads everywhere, mostly for different kinds of medicines. They're pretty fun to look at too.

Bamboo platter, anyone? I especially like the way the glaze turned out on this particular one.

More pots.

A pot or two...or three million.

The little kiln. The big one is quite a bit bigger.

And Osage's population has now grown to fourteen people. And Ningbo has 5.5 million.

stunning scenary

Okay, so I left out the horses yesterday in my critter post. Sorry horses!

And the outside of the shop. I love the building! And notice that the sky is actually blue.

Yes, we had blackberry cobbler. Needless to say, it's all gone by now. A couple of days ago we also had peach cobbler. It was heavenly as well.

Um...?

Pretty, pretty, pretty. Definitely worth going outside at 5:30 a.m. and getting my feet wet for.

And another mist-rolling-off-the-hills type picture.

So that's the outside. I'll post pictures of the shop and the kiln shed in a few minutes. If I did it all in one post it would be way too long.

all God's critters

Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I fell asleep before dinner and didn't have any energy after that. Today, you get (some) pictures as promised.

Dolche. Isn't she adorable?

Sam. He looks perpetually sad...

I couldn't get a picture of Pudge, the other dog. I'll try to tomorrow.

Some days he's Unity, and some days he's just plain Tom.

Psych C (Psychotic Cat). Don't ask why.

Two wet dogs.

Dolche likes to nibble on things, and Sam lets her near his tail, which is a bad idea.

And I wasn't quick enough to get a pic of Sam chasing an armadillo.

Hummingbirds! There were eight at one point, but I didn't have the camera.

And yes, today's theme is animals, because it's late and I'm not going to post the rest of the pictures. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow I'll write a long post with lots of pictures.

Good night!

visa

I definitely am going back to China at the end of September, because I can only enter China for two months after my visa is issued, and it has to be in my paws by the middle of August. Getting to see Brynne and Carew is looking hopeful though.

I'm here!

The flight from Shanghai to Atlanta was long, something like fourteen hours. At least I slept five hours though. I think it's the longest flight I've ever been on. Tokyo to O'Hare (Chicago) only takes eleven. I also get to add Atlanta to my only-seen-the-airport list. Anyhow.

I wasn't in the mood to read at all (really!). I had "To Kill a Mockingbird" which I have to read for school next semester anyhow, and "The Lady in White" by Wilkie Collins. I brought it along because I absolutely adored "The Moonstone". But I have yet to start both of those books.

The flight from Atlanta to Fayetteville was nice. I stared out the window the entire time. The sun went down just as we were taking off. It was stunning, and then as soon as we left the Atlanta area, it started pouring rain, and we got a lightning show through thunderstorm clouds. That was gorgeous as well.

Unfortunately, 'Aunt' Amy and Jessa had a hard time getting to the airport to pick us up. We got to Osage though, around midnight, and promptly crashed in Jessa's bed (It's actually soft!). This morning we went to Baha'i school and then had Mexican food for lunch. It was really nice to get to see everyone. Then, Aunt Amy, Mom and I hit the Good Will in Springdale. I got five shirts, even though I really needed pants more. This shopping trip was really long, though not quite as boring as I had anticipated. I don't particularly enjoy shopping.

I have, however, noticed that my taste in clothing has gotten a little more girly-ish. Or at least less plain. I no longer insist that my shirts have absolutely nothing on them. Some of the designs are quite nice, surprisingly enough.

I didn't go down to the Shop today, but I plan to tomorrow. I'll take lots of pretty pictures of everything (the dogs, the cat, the shop, the pottery, the people etc.) and post them later.

I'm leaving!

I'm leaving for the States tomorrow morning at nine. Don't expect any blog until Sunday in America. Have fun while I eat airplane food and get really bored on the flight from Shanghai to Atlanta. Then, I will get even more bored on the flight from Atlanta to Fayetteville (actually Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport). I only have two books.

better...

Cooler tempers have prevailed. Yesterday was a...um, mess. To say the least. Today, three people have offered to let me stay with them until I turn fifteen (thank you, thank you, thank you!) and my mom is considering it. What will probably happen is that I'll spend September with Brynne and Carew, and then spend October with my aunt. Of course, Mother hasn't made up her mind yet, but it sounds hopeful.

My aunt is also going to check out the Foundation series for me to read in Rockport (thank you, Aunt CM!), and I'll read the trilogy first. Okay, Brynne and Daniel? I'll post reviews afterwards, though maybe not on this blog. I really want to start one just for book reviews, because they would take over this blog if I let them. Again, we'll see how many books I read :P

please, please, please!

Why, oh why, can I not fly alone from Washington to China? It's not like I'm going to get lost, and it's not like someone is miraculously 'responsible' enough to fly alone at fifteen and not fourteen. But alas, we haven't yet found a flight to get me from Washington to Shanghai. If tickets don't show up on our doorstep gift wrapped by the end of next week, I won't be going to see Brynne and Carew. *Waaaah*

Anyhow. Hopefully it'll work out.

turnip, turning into

I'm turning into a turnip. I know I've been horrid these past two days about posting, but I have literally spent every waking moment looking for tickets. As soon as they're booked (tomorrow, hopefully) I'll write a loooong post, talking about the fascinating situation of plane tickets from China to the States and back. I promise. But now I'm going to go turn into a grumpy turnip. I need to go to bed, and I haven't eaten since I don't know when.

Asimov

I was writing something else today and had to find the exact definition of Asimov's Zeroth Law. I got a bit sidetracked and found this. The hardcore sci-fi fan in me is fascinated by robots and Asimov's laws. I haven't read the Foundation series yet, because I can't find "Prelude to Foundation", and I absolutely have to read books in order. Maybe this summer, if I have time...

fried green tomatoes and inexistent people

I talked to Brynne and Carew on Skype this morning. We rambled on about a bunch of stuff and decided that the best job for me would be working for an inexistent guy, shuffling around inexistent paperwork and having meetings with inexistent people. Sounds fun to me! But I'd much rather write about inexistent people.

Finally! The contract from Nottingham arrived, and it's in my hot little paws. That means Mom can sign it tonight and all the paperwork can get started! Which means that we can leave soon! Yay!

I'm so incredibly ready to get back to the States. Even the ubiquitous individualism seems attractive to me, after a year in China. And I miss foods, like catfish, various candy bars I'm rather fond of, and FRIED GREEN TOMATOES. Fried green tomatoes are the only things Jessa and I fight about. If there's an odd number of slices, well... I can't be held responsible for stealing it off her plate after sweetly telling her she can have it.

Stradivarius and perfection (and annoying mics)

The microphone was broken. After all the fuss of updating drivers, nearly having a heart attack due to error messages stating that our sound card was corrupted (anybody notice a pattern here?) and fiddling around with a million different settings, we bought a new mic, and it worked beautifully (we needed a new one anyway; the old one was held together by duct tape and faith. Plus, the new thing only cost twenty-five RMB).

Yesterday, as I was scanning the headlines on Yahoo, I noticed an article about Stradivarius violins and why they were "perfect". How can a violin be perfect? Wood isn't perfect, nor was Stradivari. How can two imperfect things make something perfect? Anyhow. Supposedly, cool weather caused the wood then to be denser, which is why the violins are superior (not perfect!). Then I got to thinking about violins. If one was perfect, and if the player's technique was also perfect, would the violin really sound that much better than a Stradivarius? Probably not. So what is perfection? And was it there?

I've been toying with the idea of starting another blog just for book reviews. We'll see, but not until I actually have books to read, which will be a while. *anguished cry*

we're moved

We're moved*. YAY!

Also, we (well, me) have figured out how to get the visas in the States without having to go to D.C. Double YAY!

So we're thinking of getting to the States around the eighteenth of this month. Triple YAY!

I saw the new apartment today, and it's bigger than I expected it to be. And my room is bigger than the one I have now. I'll actually have room to walk around the bed. Woohoo!

Unfortunately our microphone is leaking static instead of words. How utterly annoying, since Brynne and Carew are back from Camp and I can talk to them! It was working fine before they got back**.


I'm going to go forage some lunch. Wait, Mom's out like a light. Forget food.

Oh, I've decided to look for three stuffed tigers, just so I can name them Tigris, Mesopotamia and Euphrates.

***

*It took a bit. The movers were supposed to come at eight, they got to the (old) apartment at six thirty. Of course, we weren't there. We got to the apartment at a quarter to seven, only to find that the door was broken, and we simply could not get in. The guard told us firmly that nothing could be done about it until nine. Mother was not pleased. So the guard called his supervisor, who then called his supervisor (how many supervisors can there be?!) and tried getting some of the neighbors to come down and open the door (it was the main door to the whole complex that wouldn't open...of course), because the door could open from the inside but not from the out. Finally, one of the movers easily (it took him about thirty seconds) climbs up to the second floor, through the window above the landing, walks downstairs and opens the door (now why didn't we think of that?). Breaking in is so easy. Then there was the minor detail of making sure the movers didn't move some of the furniture that came with the apartment, and then we got a little lost... but we made it back around eleven.

**Literally. Two hours after Brynne wrote on my facebook wall (I got the feeling that I should check facebook--I usually don't), the mic started doing strange things.


About the visas: for the two Z (working) visas, we're going to UPS our passports to San Francisco and have a travel agency do them for us, but we can't leave until we have Mom's new foreign expert's certificate which we need in order to apply for the Z visa.

argh. argh. argh.

Last night, I tried to charge my iPod. Big mistake. I plug it into the computer (I can't find my belkin charger, I think it got packed) and get this message saying my iPod is corrupted. I was sure this was a mistake, but noooo.... On top of that, when I unplugged the iPod (poor thing) it was frozen. I couldn't even reset the thing.

Now, let me say that I've had the little machine all of three months. It's not supposed to stop working after three months! The apple site just tells me to go to the nearest apple store (ahem, I live in CHINA!!!!!). And then my brain starts doing flip flops. On the flip side: corrupted?! That means it's broken, right?! Waaaah! On the flop side: How dare you not work! You foul, undigested lump of metal*... Do you have any idea how extortionately and utterly expensive iPods are?! And it's not working? I'll wring your neck as soon as I figure out where it is blah blah blah.

I cycled through the second and third stages of grief last night (denial and anger). I woke up feeling quite ashamed of myself for caring so much about a chintzy little hunk of metal, but it's a useful chintzy little hunk of metal, and I wasn't looking forward to the flight from China to the States with no iPod.

So, I let the (frozen) iPod sit on my desk overnight, and it finally ran out of battery. I found my charger this morning, and when I plugged it in, the iPod worked as if nothing had ever happened. I still haven't tried to connect it to the computer though.

I slept on the couch last night. For some reason the air conditioner in the living room sounds like a truck driving past. I did not have the pleasure of sleeping well, which would explain the excessive use of italics in this post.

On a completely different note, Mom and I moved out of our apartment, into a friend's. Said friend is trying to get the internet fixed. We'll see how that goes. I can always come to this apartment and blog (or at least until the twentieth) but it won't be half as convenient.

About getting back to the States, well... Mom and I have to be out of China by the 30th of July, so if our visas don't get renewed before then, we'll have to leave and get Chinese visas in the States, which is a major pain. I think you have to go in person to a Chinese embassy's visa office. That means making a trip to Washington D.C. and back. Argh.

*Go watch Brotherhood 2.0 or read Shakespeare. Take your pick.

as if my last post wasn't enough...

To make sleeping draught, you will need the following:

• one half cup of rubeber roots, chopped
• seven rhododendron leaves, crushed
• one pinch of rosehip, dried
• seven yellow rose buds, picked on summer solstice
• seven drops of rose water, optional
• one cup of soy milk, dyed purple

Let soy milk come to a gentle boil, add rubeber roots, rhododendron leaves, rosehip and rose buds, stirring occasionally. Then, use eyedropper to add rose water (for potency) one drop at a time, stirring counterclockwise seven times after adding each drop. Let simmer for seven minutes, then age in a cool, dry place for seven weeks.

Let it be known that the number seven has for ages been regarded as the number of mystery. But there shall be mystery no longer. When I was shopping at the local hypermarket, I walked by a pile of rubber boots, and above the display was a (rather large) sign that said "RUBEBER ROOTS". So my strange brain immediately thought Harry Potter! and went off making things up.

When I was buying grape juice, I noticed that the orange juice and Raid were sitting right next to each other on the same shelf. Mmm, how delicious! Nice little bug repellent with your breakfast?

Also, the Chinese don't seem to quite have figured out that you're supposed to actually sell the items you have pretty pictures of. They have huge posters with chocolate chips on them in the candy section, and by the fish they had a picture of lox! How dare they! Now, usually I hate fish with a passion, but when it comes to lox, well...

on fetishes, chalk, Decimal, China and the title of this blog

My mother, it appears, has a hanger fetish. I counted them as I packed, and she had 132 in her closet. Or maybe it's that she has a clothing fetish and consequently has to have hangers to put the clothes on...? My earrings (I have an earring fetish), while just as wild, are easier to move.

There is now a humongous heap of white foamy stuff in the living room. It's great for wrapping dishes in, but unfortunately is also covered in what looks like chalk dust, which makes me sneeze every time I walk past it. As if I do not already have half a ton of chalk dust in my lungs from Chinese school, where the very walls are made of chalk dust.

Oh, and today I said farewell to Decimal. He sits by the computer and makes sarcastic (and occasionally rather insightful) comments about whatever I'm writing. Decimal is not fuzzy on the inside. Maybe he's my internal critic?



My stuffed animals have strange names. There's Fumpy the elephant, Sniffer and Rowdy the dogs, Grace the cat, Belthka the rabbit, Decimal the leopard, Benjamin the donkey (named after the character in "Animal Farm"--both Benjamins are cynics), Missy the raccoon (his, yes his, name is really Mischievous, but it's a mouthful) and another rabbit named Acacia.

I love stuffed animals. They're so squishy and huggable, and fun to talk to late at night. Sometimes they come up with the funniest things.

Our tiny little apartment is finally looking like we're leaving. YAY! I can't wait to escape from leaky drains, doors that won't open/close, flying cockroaches under the second sink in the kitchen (we have two sinks, but one is covered by our little convection oven/microwave/grill thingy), the good (erm, bad?) acoustics which allow me to hear the neighbors fighting, someone playing piano at three a.m. and the TV on the third floor, the Chinese national anthem blasting from the school next door at seven a.m. on schooldays... But there's no guarantee that the next apartment will be better yet. Mom should be looking at it as I write this. She went to Nottingham to get the whole visa and foreign expert certificate process started. If that goes well, I can be in the boondies (out in the middle of nowhere, Arkansas) in two weeks and go to Oregon for September.

Oh, I think I should use this opportunity to explain about the title of this blog. I love the concept of dream catchers and they're pretty. One of my first memories (my third, I think) is of my grandmother making up a story involving dream catchers. However, I think that the word should be spelled "dreamcatcher" or at least be hyphenated, because it expresses one concept. So I stubbornly titled my blog "The Dreamcatcher Workshop". I also must add that the workshop part is shameless stealing of Brynne's idea, which I thought was cute.